The Cloak of Vulnerability
Have you ever noticed how after you’ve achieved something great or significant, the cloak of vulnerability wraps around you so tightly it restricts your every move?
It has taken me over ten years to publish my first book, ‘Eyes of Silence’. In doing so, I have travelled the world, met icons of business, and pushed the envelope almost entirely out of sight to get to that point. You would think I was on cloud nine and luxuriating in the obvious glory…not so.
Don’t misunderstand me, I’m immensely proud of what I have achieved. The perseverance and resilience I’ve had to engage to push past the vast number of roadblocks has surprised me more than anyone.
It is an intensely personal story and my vision to create a legacy that will last the test of time has been my driving force. Yet, despite all this, I’m feeling vulnerable.
Self-doubt, or perhaps self-pity has crept into my heart and is dragging me kicking a screaming to a dark place. I can no longer hide behind the excuse of ‘I’m writing a book’ (and have for a decade) because it is now in the public domain.
People will read it and that has the fear growing ever more real. Will they like it, hate it, accuse me of ulterior motives…or all the above?
The support of family and friends has been overwhelming but I still had to search deep within my heart and consciously focus on why I was doing this in the first place.
There is a greater purpose at stake here and if I wanted to make the contribution I desired, my attitudes, actions and words needed to reflect the promise. Criticism will always be directed at people willing to take a chance because they are out in front…easy targets.
Vulnerability is very real to us all at times in our lives. Ironically, it often follows great personal victory. It’s when we are at most risk to personal attack, persuasion, and temptation. Focusing on the original purpose and not waste time and energy on the critics is the key.
When you sum it up, it comes down to personal choices but that is easier said than done. I guess that’s what makes us human.
Life was never meant to be easy, but it was meant to be purposeful.