The 'Born' Identity

I love a good action thriller and ‘The Bourne Identity’ was a movie that captured my imagination when it screened in the early 2000’s.

The concept of someone searching to discover their true identity and life purpose fascinated me.

I often asked the same questions; ‘Who am I?’, ‘Do I really matter?’, and ‘What is my place in life?’. A scary thing to contemplate.

The fear of making sense of my life story and to admit my vulnerabilities was paralysing. It needed a large dose of self-reflection and acceptance.

Self-help books to enlighten offered the same predictable steps: Review dreams. Clarify values. Consider strengths. Set some goals. Think positively. Be disciplined. Stand strong and never give up.

Valuable advice but something was still missing. I didn’t want ‘self-help’, I wanted a character transformation.

My belief system was being challenged. A spiritual and intellectual exploration. Separating ‘who I am’ from ‘what I do’.

My identity wasn’t going to be defined by my job, financial status, level of intelligence or societal norms.

Understanding ‘why I behaved the way I did’ was also crucial. My accumulated hurts and fears were influencing my behaviour and holding me back from being the best version of myself.

Guilt, lack of confidence, fear, rejection, shame and feeling unworthy kept dragging me under the waves.

But there was hope. Once I understood how my brain and heart worked in unison to protect me from life's challenges, I was able to change my thinking to forgive and let go.

This journey of self-discovery was no overnight success, and I am far from the finished product. The process continues to evolve.

Things I’ve learnt along the way:

1.      It is not about you – living with purpose is sacrifice and service, not personal gain.
2.      You're not an accident – you were created for a purpose. If not, then we are all 'accidents' and life would be meaningless.
3.      Your life is driven by something – fear, guilt, resentment, anger, need for approval or materialism?
4.      Knowing your purpose – simplifies, focuses and motivates your life.
5.      Think generationally – when you think past yourself, your values change and you value character over charisma.
6.      Life is a test – character is developed and revealed by tests.
7.      Life is about love – developing honest, and selfless relationships with others should be our priority.
8.      Comparison is the thief of joy – everyone’s life and purpose is unique. Comparing will only frustrate you.
9.      Seek clarity – understand your passions, gifts, values, and motivations.